Sarcasm (or Bovril learns a new word)
by a-blue-almost-black
Summary: Deryn has to dress up for mission and Alek is surprised. Bovril learns a new word. Just a fluffy little one-shot. Rating has changed due to reconsideration of language.


**Hi, this is my first fic. I wrote it a while back just for fun. I may continue it on, may not. Depends if inspiration hits me. If you have any suggestions, please tell me in a review. Please review anyway. Enjoy Bovril learning a new word.**

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Deryn groaned as she brushed a lock of the hair out of her face.

"Sit still." Said Dr. Barlow, adjusting the wig on Deryn's head.

"It itches, damn wig." Deryn replied, looking into the mirror atop the vanity she was seated at.

"Damn wig." Giggled Bovril.

"You, young 'lady', are going to need to watch your language at this event. Now sit still and allow me to fix your _toilette._" Replied Dr. Barlow, calm as ever.

Deryn groaned again, it had been a long week. First she had been trained in the art of court dancing, then how to speak like a proper socialite, then how walk and sit and stand correctly, then how to eat a fancy meal properly so she knew which barking fork to use. Finally on the night of the event its self, she was being made to look a proper socialite, corset and all.

"Why do I have to be a blistering girl for on this mission? I haven't been a boy in ages." Deryn complained.

"Because it was better for this mission and besides, you are changing, you cannot continue to dress up as a boy much longer. Do you want to go over what we talked about earlier again?" Dr. Barlow replied.

"No! We never need to go over that again!" Deryn grumbled, resigning herself to this torture.

"That again?" Asked Bovril from his perch upon the mirror. Both women ignored him however.

"Excellent, now stand up so I can tie your corset." Dr. Barlow said, while pulling at the strings of the garment around Deryns waist.

What she would like to say to the bum rag who invent the corset…

Deryn stepped into the blue gown that Dr. Barlow held out for her and turned to face the mirror.

"Barking spiders!" exclaimed Bovril.

Deryn was speechless; she didn't recognize herself what with the wig and dress. She looked like, well a girl.

"Clart"

"Deryn, deist with the swearing immediately, you are a young lady of society tonight and you shall act like one." The Boffin said, sweeping haughtily out of the room.

Deryn hoped that Alek would be able to recognize her under all this. He was used to all this blistering fancy dress but he had never seen her in it. Hum... now there was an idea.

…

As she walked down the gilded hallway, lined with fancy portraits, Deryn wondered what she was doing here. Well obviously her mission, she and Alek were attending a fancy society party in France. The hosts were suspected of giving money to the clankers, and she and Alek were sent to find any information they could at the party.

It had been easy to obtain an invitation. Alek had simply written to the family and asked them about the party and had received, a week later, an invitation. What was harder was getting Deryn in. She was posing as a young lady from Wales, daughter of some obscure noble. And they were hopeing no one was familiar with the area.

As she rounded a corner and came upon the stairs, she looked down into the crowd below. All she could see from this height was the bustle of ladies skirts and the black of men's tailcoats.

At the top of the stairs, was a line of men and women, standing in pairs, waiting to be announced to the crowd below.

Standing there, talking in French to a pretty girl wearing a pink dress with a waist so tiny it looked as if it might break was Alek. Deryn felt a surge of jealously she couldn't squelch. They had had to pretend for so long and now her identity was revealed as a girl, Dr. Barlow wouldn't let her spend a squib of time alone with Alec. "It's not proper" was what the boffin would say.

But she was a girl this time, Deryn remembered. She could use this to her advantage…

She was about to go over to Alek when she felt a tug on her skirt and looked down. It was Bovril. The beastie must have followed her.

"Aye, all right, you can come to" she told it. She bent down and allowed it to hop up onto her shoulder as she prepared to move toward Alek.

She walked over to Alek just in time to see the girl move off to join her partner to be announced. Alek turned around and opened his mouth, then closed it.

"I know, I look silly." Deryn sighed.

"-no, you look… you look…. Wow…. I have never seen you like that before… I mean-"Alek stuttered.

"Save it you Dumkfoff. I feel like a complete doff. Now let's get in line," Deryn tried not to show how happy she was with this compliment. That would never do. Alek was still staring at her as though she had sprouted another head.

"Sorry Deryn, but you look… pretty." Alek said as he took her hand.

"Deryn Sharp, Pretty." Bovril repeated thoughtfully.

"Aye beastie, that's called sarcasm." Deryn grinned.

"Sarcasm..." Bovril softly repeated.

Alek looked like he was about to respond to this, but they were at the front of the que and the footman was announcing "His former Highness Prince Aleksander and Lady Deryn" and they were required to descend the stairs to the stares of everyone below and quite a few reporters.

Deryn gripped Aleks arm tighter. She disliked these events because she felt scrutinized. Alek was used to it more because he was a prince. She was a commoner though not tonight, tonight she was a lady.

All the sudden she felt a breeze on her scalp and Bovrils weight lift from her shoulder. She and everyone else watched in horror as the lorris removed the wig from her head and scampered down the railing with it. He then put it on and declared to the room at large.

"Sarcasm"


End file.
